SELF-CARE

Taking care of yourself was suppose to be the key to life success.  But sadly it took me years for me to realize it.

When I was young, just graduated from university...I vowed that I would throw myself at work to prove my value to the workforce and show everyone that I am capable of.  I used to work myself frantic because I felt I had to in order to prove that I was worthy of achieving things. Running in different directions, saying yes to everything, thinking that the more that I did, the more success I would have.  I didn’t. No success. I did spend about a few days and nights in the hospital which is not good.

I use to work over 10 or 12 hours at an office or glued to a screen a day, even on weekends, with the idea of a vacation sounding like a scary proposition because it is a chance to fall behind. Especially if you are disabled, I used to believe that I had to prove myself to the society. None of them have very much to show for their self-sacrifice, even if I was making a decent amount of money.

It occurred to me, while hysterically crying after working 10 hours straight about a year ago...If I am falling apart now, just to keep up with what I am doing, how am I ever going to be able to manage a life with more good things?! How am I going to to live my dreams if I am already melting where I am?

Because of that — I quit my job about 6 months ago!  I thought with my extensive experience, companies would jump to hire me.  Imagine to my shock and frustration at the society of how they do not value it.

Today, do I have the energy to fulfilled my dreams … or is my life already too much for me to manage?  As I get older, the less I feel motivated to do simple things, let alone my dreams. My travel dream to exotic places is pretty much kaput.  My relationship dream to have a wonderful companion share in my life is also pretty much kaput.  My career dream to have a successful job with co-workers respecting is also pretty much kaput.